Decades ago, arranged marriages in India meant that the parent/s of each party would choose the prospective partner for them; and chances were, the bride and groom would meet for the first time only on the D-day. However, the concept of this ‘arranged marriage’ has changed over time. Today, the prospective bride and groom are introduced to each other by family elders. The couple is given time to interact with each other and take a call.
An interesting aspect of such meetings is what is called ‘the wedding interview’ in jest. The so-called wedding interview is basically trying to get to know each other and dive into the finer nuances of the personality of both the parties; after all one might probably end up living with this person for the rest of one’s lives.
While some girls have boyfriends who court them, and later marry them, other girls go for arranged marriage. Reason can be anything - they either don’t find love, or are persuaded by culture or family to have an arranged marriage. These girls have to go through the wedding proposal meeting. This meeting can really make you nervous especially if it’s your first time. If you find yourself in such a situation and you’re clueless about what to talk to the person about, here’s a guide: Start with general casual conversation about the person’s background, qualifications, likes, dislikes and hobbies etc. When both parties have made each other comfortable, then it is easier to wade into the more serious discussion. Here are some questions that you must ask to a prospective groom to make sure you know what you’re getting into. Remember if they don’t answer a question that you think is absolutely pertinent for you to take your call, then perhaps it answers everything you need to know. Get cracking!
*What is your dream job?
This question will help you figure out what aspirations the person has.
*If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
You’ll get a window into the thoughts of the person with this question. If they reply saying they would want to live in a place like Paris or Hollywood, then you know that they are probably unrealistic or simply delusional.
*Do you consider your work a career or just a job?
With this question, you’ll learn whether the guy is passionate about his work, which would in turn reflect his responsibility factor.
*What is your annual income?
This is a very important question and you must now the tricks to ask it in a very polite and innocent manner as some people may get offended.
*How long was the longest relationship you’ve ever had?
This is also another important question that you must ask. It will help you figure out if the guy is able to handle long-term relationships.
*Have you ever had a serious illness? Have you ever had surgery?
You should know the health background of the person who you may marry.
*Do you smoke/drink?
If smoking or drinking is a bother for you, you’ll know whether or not to take this forward.
*How important is it that you and your partner should be on good terms with each other’s families?
In India, it is said that marriage is a union of two families rather than two persons. So know their views on that.
*Do you vote?
This will let you know if the person is a responsible citizen.
*Does your religion impose any behavioural restrictions be it dietary, social, familial, or sexual, that would affect your partner?
It’s best to clarify this in advance lest the culture differences come in the way of your ‘happily ever after’.
*Do you consider yourself a religious person or a spiritual person?
This will help you find out if they are staunch religious or spiritually less inclined.
*What is your level of formal education? Do you consider education as important and a source of pride, or do you think it is a luxury not required?
Know their views upon education and its importance; it will help you decide if they appreciate the boon that it is.
*What refreshes your mind, body, and spirit?
This will let you know where they find peace and leisure.
*What is your greatest limitation/strength?
This question is again very important because as partners, your spouse completes you and you complete them, so it will help you to know if they are the best fit in your life’s jigsaw puzzle.
*Are there household responsibilities you believe to be the sole domain of a man or a woman? Why?
If you want to spend the rest of your life with a person, you don’t want to be the one doing their dirty laundry. Get an inkling about their attitude regarding household chores and maintaining equality of duties and responsibilities.