“Let’s talk about sex…” How many times have your friends told you this? Rather, how many times have YOU said that to your friends? While it is stereotypically assumed that most guys discuss their sex lives with their friends and hence should be hated upon, let me tell you this – in the post ‘Sex And The City’ world, most women are aware of all the details of their friends’ intimate lives. From comparing the ‘penis size’ to the best and the worst sexual encounters (along with minute details) everything is discussed across restaurant tables or on the telephone. It all sounds unethical, right? Well, it is. While it may be true that friends give us perspective, support, suggestion, and at times useful information, it should be realised that our private life is called ‘private’ for a reason. Surprisingly enough, the number of boys and girls who discuss their sex lives with friends is frighteningly close to 50%. And regardless of your gender, it is completely uncool to gab about your private life to others.
We asked a few people if they talk about their sex lives with their friends and why, here’s what some said…
Muba Makani, a 28-year-old Software Engineer, said, “At times, I do discuss my experiences with my friends, but only with people I’m comfortable with and I can trust them for privacy.”
Well Muba, if you so care about privacy, how about not telling anything to your friends at all! Is that how much you respect your partner? Our next candidate’s reply will tell you what we mean.
30-year-old Sushil Bhushan, who will soon tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend, says, “One of my closest friends shares the details of his sex life with me, and even buys a dozen packets of condoms with me in tow. I have tried every trick in the book to stop him from doing so – cringe at his talks, tell him on his face to avoid such topics, reason with him, tease him, everything – but all in vain! Now whenever I see his wife, who is like a sister to me, I feel awkward since all that he said starts playing in my mind. It’s extremely irritating!”
Swati Temkara, a Deputy Bank Manager, opined, “I think a person’s sex live is a very intimate topic to discuss in a friend circle. I don’t do it because I don’t want people to know about it and think about it later; it makes me uncomfortable to imagine it! I also know for a fact that my husband doesn’t discuss it with anybody either. We have a very strong bond and if either of us has something to talk about, it’s done in private.”
Also read: How to practise safe sex
On the other hand, Himani Kulkarni finds it amusing to share details on one’s intimate life. She said, “I discuss my private stuff with my best pals and vice versa. I mean, we all are there for each other. You need someone to hear you out if facing a problem; and who can be blindly trusted in these times, except our best friends?”
Well, we think even friends can’t be ‘blindly trusted’ in these times. Sadly, some of my friends too, get deep into details about their intimate lives and it makes me cringe! I know of some people who casually and (often) jokingly or inappropriately talk about some private aspect of their partner and their sex life and have a good laugh over it (!) while their friends may or may not find it amusing. I detest such people and their habits. Our intimate life is ours only and it should never be discussed with friends at all, let alone discussed inappropriately. Have you wondered if your partner is doing the same as you are? What would you say to them if you found out that they really ARE? This is an extremely thorny subject to rant on about especially if your partner doesn’t know you do.
Also read: Exercises that can revive your sex life
If there is a sex-related issue that’s bothering you since a while, take it up with your partner first, rather than telling your ‘gossip-hungry’ friends(?). Who knows they might be discussing your sex lives with other friends and having a good laugh behind your back. Instead, visit a sexpert with your partner, if need be, and address the issue with maturity.