One thing I’ve learnt while growing up is that you can never share the same equation with both your parents. Some may be more close to their mothers, while others may be friendly with their fathers. But in India, we’ve seen that generally, (excluding all those people who raise their eyebrows at the following line) most dads are not too friendly with their children. Dads in India are stricter than moms and tend to yell a lot more (and a lot louder) than most moms do. And hence, we have compiled a small list of stuff that you should NOT say to your dad especially when he’s angry.
Also read: Bollywood super dads
“Relax dad” –
Get one thing straight: When dad is angry it’s only natural that he may go out of control. But don’t fuel the fire that’s already raging within him by saying ‘relax’ or ‘calm down’. It’s one of the last things he wants to hear, especially coming from you!
Also read: How to make Father’s Day special for daddy
“You expect a lot from me” –
Most kids think that their dads expect too much of them. That’s not true. Dads only want to see us doing well in all spheres of our lives and that’s why they want us to be more sensitive towards such things. Never blame your dad for expecting a lot from you, that’s just their love talking.
“It’s not worth talking to you” –
I was shocked to know that some kids actually say this to their fathers. It’s so demeaning to speak this way to your dad. The only reason he is angry is because you probably did something to upset him and by saying this you just show that you hardly care about his feelings.
“You don’t understand…you’re too old” –
Another thing most teenagers say to their parents is that they don’t ‘understand’ because they’re ‘old’. This is just unfair! Your father brought you up so painstakingly and he understands exactly what you need and what’s good for you. So this statement is extremely rude to say to your dad.
“But even Rahul does it, and his parents don’t yell, unlike you” – Justifying your actions by using a friend’s example is again not fair. It will only anger your dad more because it implies that you are comparing him and his parenting technique to someone else’s and judging the other person to be right.
Also read: Want to be friends with your parents?
“Don’t treat me like a child” –
Really? Your father is the one who gave birth to you and brought you up, and you expect him not to treat you like a child. Sorry to burst your bubble but you’ll always be a child to him and he will treat you like one.
So now that you know what you mustn’t say to an angry dad, let’s look at a few things that you could say if you had to explain yourself…
If your dad is angry at you for coming home late, then listen to him until he is done talking. And then say something like, “I’m sorry dad, I know you hate it when I’m late. Actually I was stuck up….” Or try this, “Sorry dad, it won’t happen again”. If you feel the pressure of doing something the way he expects you to do, then say, “I’m trying my best to do it the way I should, but I’m gonna need your help, dad.” or “I can definitely do it right with your help, dad.”
I don’t want to sound preachy here, but let’s face it… when parents are angry, it’s mostly because they’re concerned about us and we must never disrespect, or back answer them. So, next time around, stay calm when you dad isn’t calm! Ciao for now! :)