Marriage is a sacred affair where two souls unite to share every moment of their lives. But before you step into this sacred relationship, there are some rules to follow. You can’t just jump into this spiritual culmination called marriage all of a sudden and you need to prepare yourself mentally for it. Especially so, if it’s an arranged marriage; you must realize that in any marriage there are going to be adjustments. Knowing someone for a while is an entirely different ball game from living with the person 24/7. Having said that, even an entire lifetime is sometimes short to know a person.
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This is where courtship steps in. Be it love marriage or arranged marriage, both stand on the same foundation of love and trust. And these virtues need time to form and become stronger. So it is important to give yourself time to fall in love with your would-be bride or groom.
People who are looking out for partners to get married to, need to bear in mind that if you court each other before tying the knot and if you fall in love with the person, then adjustments become easy, acceptance become natural and the new world looks beautiful with pleasing personalities. So give each other ample amount of time to get to know each other well. Take time to understand your partner, his personality, his lifestyle; get to know his family and friends. I’m not trying to scare you with this metaphor, but marriage is a bed of roses with hidden thorns. So give yourself time to acquaint yourself with each other.
Don’t be disheartened if you don’t find your Mr./Ms. Right in the first try. It isn’t necessary to settle for someone you aren’t comfortable spending time with. Think of it as an opportunity to help you gauge what exactly are your expectations out of a marital relationship. Any relationship needs both the people to loosen up and take steps to make the other person feel comfortable. Constant care and nourishing is required to keep the bond strong even after the pheras. So now that you understand the importance of courtship before marriage, here are some dos and don’ts of courtship:
- Give compliments to each other often, and appreciate the efforts made by your partner, but make sure you do so genuinely
- Have a discussion about your expectations after marriage and be honest
- Learn to trust and earn your partner’s trust in return
- Respect your partner
- Be practical. It’s okay to get emotionally attached to a certain level, but overlooking faults is not a good idea
- Go for regular dinners, movies, drives. Know each other’s likes and dislikes
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- Do not take each other for granted
- Don’t delve into each other’s past neither try reminding them of their past
- Do not let your ego and attitude get in the picture, it can ruin your relationship before it even starts
- Do not expect marriage to be a fairytale. Your prince may not be as charming after all
- Be realistic. Do not expect too much of your partner and realize that they too have expectations
- Talk about the future but sparingly. You don’t want to seem too pushy
- Patience is the key to a successful marriage, so don’t lose it