We’ve all been hurt by the actions or words of some or the other person at some point in life. Perhaps it was your mother criticizing your parenting skills and blaming you for the way your son behaves. Or it was a friend who ditched you or insulted you in front of a third party. Believe it or not, most of us do not forgive these small things and hold on to grudges for a lifetime. But holding grudges is no good. If we don’t learn to forgive and forget, the wounds can leave you bitter for your whole life.
Let go off grudges and bitterness as it can make way for happiness, health and peace in a lot of ways. It will help build healthier relationships, foster spiritual and psychological wellbeing, cure anxiety, stress and hostility, lower blood pressure, improve your immune system and your heart’s health, and most importantly it will increase your self esteem. So when a thing has so many benefits, why stay away from it? Here are some effective tips on to let go off grudges and make peace with yourself and others…
- It’s easy to dwell on hurtful events or situations and let bitterness take the place of peace and calm in your mind. But if you really want to make amends, think about the thing that made you cross in the first place.
- Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at any given time. Reflect on the facts of the situation and how it affected your life.
- You must actively choose to forgive the person or thing who’s offended you. Forgiveness should come willingly and only when you’re consciously ready to let go.
- Consider the situation from the other person’s point of view. Ask yourself what you would have done if you were in their shoes and answer honestly.
- Reflect on those times that you must have hurt others and how they chose to forgive you.
- It may take a long time for you to come around, but keep trying if you really care or cared for the person.
- Know that forgiveness is a process and even small things need to be revisited and forgiven over and over again.
- Another good thing about letting go off grudges is that it can lead to reconciliation.
- Respect yourself, your values and act accordingly.
- Remember, getting another person to change his or her actions, values, and behavior is not a part of or the point of forgiveness.
- Perhaps the other person wishes for you to forgive them and make up, so it always helps to talk.
- Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move. They know they offended you, so they may be reluctant to face you. Take the initiative and break the ice.
Lastly, if a person is truly sorry for what they have said or done, (or even if they didn’t realize that they hurt you) talk it out with them and in the end let the bitterness go.