How To Remain Friends With An Ex Lover
Unlike Ted and Robin from ‘How I Met Your Mother', it isn't easy for ex-romantic partners to remain friends after a breakup. Honestly, how many of your exes are your best buddies? If you're like me, chances are nil. I mean, even though your ex may convince you that "It's not you, it's me", breakups are still heartbreaking. But surprisingly, I've recently discovered that I could be friends with my ex after all. How? Here's what you need to know…
Being friends before the relationship helps: It would be a big help if you were friends before your relationship began. In this case, you'd both know what it's like to be friends, because you have already been in that zone. Of course, you need to be sure and try as hard as you can to not venture into the ‘friends-with-benefits' relationship with your ex. It's strictly a no-no to have any trace of feelings in that sort of a relationship.
Also read: Friends with benefits – good or bad?
It would definitely be easier if the breakup was mutual: Your ex-lover could easily be your best buddy if the breakup was mutual. Since a mutual breakup is less negative and both partners feel a sense of freedom in the post-dissolution phase of the relationship, a friendship may easily survive.
It helps to have ‘no hard feelings': If you broke up on an ugly note, you can't remain friends with your ex. You must realize that friends love each other no matter what. There's no ego in friendship. So make sure to forgive all that's happened and let bygones be bygones.
"Was I romantically satisfied?": That's a question you must ask yourself if you want to be friends with your ex-lover. Often, romantic dissatisfaction is not the reason for a breakup – maybe it's something trivial, maybe her frequent shopping sprees used to drive you wild, or his frequent boys' night out were beyond your comprehension. But if you really were romantically satisfied, there's a good chance you'd remain awesome buddies after ending your relationship.
If you both belong to the same friend circle: If you belong to the same friend circle as your ex, there may be a good chance for you to remain friends post breakup. Friends and family may help you during the low phase but you'll eventually grow out of it.
If you truly loved them: Don't expect to remain friends with your ex if you didn't really love them. But if you did love them and cared for them truly with all of your heart and soul, take this from me – those feelings are not going away even after the breakup. You may not be happy together; but the love, respect and care that you feel for them will never fade away. If you find yourself in such a situation, congratulations! You can safely remain friends with your ex-partner without any concerns and awkwardness. But yes, do ensure you don't feel the separation pangs every time you meet them.
Also read: 3 big mistakes made after breakup
All said and done, ask yourself every night before falling asleep if being friends with your ex feels alright. If something tells you it does feel right, then you've got a winner right there!