Your relationship begins with a flutter of giggles, blushes and lovey-dovey messages. As it matures, these aspects fade away, and true personalities surface. When this takes place, it sometimes comes as a reality check! From the frequent dates to the once-a-week calls, things change with time, and the quality of your relationship is now based on trust more than anything else.
(Also read - 3 big mistakes made after breakup)
So, if you’ve been in a relationship, and are wrestling the idea of letting go, it is difficult, I agree. But sometimes, your relationship can be of the nature of a parasite – it saps life out of you more than it helps you! Figure whether this is happening in your love life; if it is, then it’s time to move on, time to let go, time for change!
(Also read - Heartbreak? Here’s how you can deal with it)
Change is never easy, is it? But change is exciting if you perceive it in the right way. All things happen for a greater reason, and when you add it up later on in life, it all makes sense. Contemplate whether your relationship is worthwhile and consider whether the following things are happening in your relationship to decide whether it is time to… er, break up.
Very little contact
You know it’s time when he cannot make time to speak to you and still posts pictures of himself with friends on Facebook!
Talk of the future
Have you ever pondered upon the future of your relationship and put your thoughts across? If you have, and he just doesn’t want to talk about it, it probably is because he sees no future with you. Enjoying the present is great, but with no hope for a future with him, you are just wasting each other’s time and delaying heartbreak.
(Also read - Rules for a trustworthy relationship)
Your values are poles apart
Are your core values on life very different? Is he indifferent to what you have to say about things you’ll do as a couple? Ponder on these questions to find out whether his interest is in you or in what he has to get from you.
Calm down… not every rough patch is time to break up. It is normal to doubt yourself and his intentions from time to time, but if his interests still lie with making you happy and staying with you, then stay with it, roll through the hard times, for the hope of a better future.
Yes, not everything needs to be out there in the open. There are some things that need to be kept secret for both your interests, but if he keeps secrets that wouldn’t make a difference, it either shows that he doesn’t trust you, or he’s not interested in letting you know. Either way, it’s detrimental for the health of your relationship and it’s best to tackle this, or let go.
(Also read - Tips to find out if you’re in a rebound relationship!)
Every new approach fails
Every time you try to heal your rough patch, he is not willing to work with you. If this is happening, then it’s time to comprehend that you value your relationship and he doesn’t. No gain!
Grasp what you need to do to make your future better. Not every guy you date is going to help you with your dreams. Most often, in fact, a relationship will pull you down. So, space out, and figure out whether the relationship you are in now is helping to build you, or even him. If it isn’t building any of you, then for a greater cause, let go!