Ever felt like your love life is going down the dry, restless and lifeless road? Well, you have to take control and not let it slip away. Here are a few tips to revive a relationship and make it more enjoyable and worthwhile.
Add variety to your life
Studies have shown that dullness can lead to dissatisfaction with a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Sri Lanka. Discoveries you make together will make you feel closer. Add spice and novelty to your relationship. Take your spouse to unexpected places and spend time with each other. A lot can happen over a simple coffee date too.
Play together, stay together
Find a sport or hobby that you both love and make that a priority in your relationship. Trekking, biking, tennis… whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together to add joy to life. This is the key to make your spouse your best friend and partner in all the crimes.
In other words: communicate. Talking out the tough subjects—money, religion, fidelity, raising kids—will not be the most fun you’ve had, but it’ll be valuable. Knowing what he opines over any of the above topics will help you know him better which is good for your future.
There’s no shame in seeking therapy
Studies show that couples who seek counselling during rocky periods are more successful in resolving their issues than those who don’t. Whether it’s from a counsellor or mental health professional, getting an expert to help sort out strife is very wise. ‘Giving up on the person you can’t stay without thinking about’, is not the solution ever.
Keep your eyes on the prize
Yes, he forgot your friend’s name for the nth time, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you. If you keep your perspective fixed on the goal—to be in a happy, functioning partnership—you’re less likely to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same thing—love and happiness.
You two are one
Being in a relationship means you’ve made a merger. You’ve not only joined assets but inherited the other’s problems as well. Rather than looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. So if he’s gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enrol in a gym together. Be there for him in his thick and thin and then see how he holds you in sphere of life.
I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine
No one likes demands, but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your partner to do something and you’re not sure he’ll agree, the quickest way to avoid a confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: “Sure, I’ll watch the cricket match on Monday if you take me to see the next movie of my choice.” These mere barters make your relation go stronger.
In order to have productive arguments, keep these rules in mind: Don’t call your spouse names. When things get really tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her sentences. Don’t initiate a discussion when you’re angry. Argue with only those points that are relevant to the current issue, not something that was dead ages ago. Don’t reach a conclusion or pledge something when you are livid. Do not raise hands and get abusive.
Mind your manners
“Please”, “thank you” and “you’re welcome” can go a long way in helping your partner remember that you respect and love each other and don’t take them for granted.