‘I don’t want to have kids’. This is one statement that we have heard one too many times from women these days. But what is the exact reason behind this? It is said that every woman goes through three stages in life. The first in which she is a daughter, in the second she is a wife and the third and the most special one is when she becomes a mother. But why do some women feel that the role of a mother is something that is not for them. This is simply because not everyone is wired to be a parent. Some people simply do not like children. It may be because they scream, or because they create a mess, or perhaps because they are too much of work. Here are a few more reasons.
- Not ready: Being a parent requires a lot of emotional strength. It requires a lot of patience, time and dedication. Maybe she does not feel that she or her partner can handle the responsibility of a child; after all, bringing up a child is no child’s play!
- Career: Maybe she is the kind of woman who does everything 100% and is completely focused on her career. She might have struggled a lot to get where she is in her life right now and probably does not want to throw all that away for starting a family.
- Health related fear: She might be scared of the nine months, the belly, the weight gain, the labour. Maybe she is scared of the many complications that are associated with pregnancy. The stress that the condition brings, the constant worry about the child’s health; anything could be the reason for her fear of having a baby.
- Biologically unfit: Maybe she isn’t biologically fit to become a mother, or maybe her health isn’t that great. She might have convinced herself that becoming a mother isn’t the ultimate reality in life because her body wouldn’t allow her to be one.
- No third person: Her life revolves only around her partner, and does not want it to change. She is happier thinking of her life with just her partner. She doesn’t want a third person, so what is it is their own child, to come in between her partner and herself, thus ending her honeymoon period.
- Fear of responsibility: Bringing a child into the world means additional responsibilities for the next 20-25 years at least. Imagining herself changing diapers, waking up at 3 in the night to attend to a screaming baby, running to schools for PTA meetings and Open Days, helping the child with homework, keeping a tab of his studies, encouraging him to learn different kinds of arts, enrolling him in the best schools and colleges, etc, gives her goosebumps.
- Fear of indiscipline: Many women fear that the child will be disobedient and unmanageable no matter how hard she or her partner tries to discipline him. She fears that her child will back answer, be stubborn and disrespectful, be unwilling to study, grow up to be an irresponsible person, etc.
- Financial insecurity: Maybe she is not financially secure. She and her partner might be working very hard to make ends meet. It is no sense in bringing a baby in the world if you cannot provide him the lifestyle that you have dreamed of having.
That’s just how it is today. Everybody has their priorities set straight and do not wish to compromise their way of living for anyone or anything.