While I was at a grocery store in a nearby supermarket, picking up some essentials, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on a young lady who was shopping there as well. Okay, I know I shouldn’t have done so; but hey, in my defence, I got a topic to discuss with my folks and write about for YOU to read and discuss with YOUR folks. So I guess it’s justified!
Also read: Is living-in before marriage a cool idea?
While we were browsing through the sanitation section of the supermarket, I could tell, the young lady was in some sort of a dilemma as she spoke to someone on the phone. I heard her asking, “…so how long should I wait before saying yes?” I thought to myself, “Oh, this lady is going to be proposed soon!” then after eavesdropping for a few more minutes, I figured it was a new relationship for her.
I went home and wondered, if my friend had asked me the same question, what would I reply? How long should someone date a person before tying the knot with them? Should they take the plunge sooner or wait for a few years? These questions kept bothering me and I had to finally talk to a few of my family members, friends and colleagues until I got my answer.
Turns out, there is no definite or ideal courtship period. Sorry for the spoiler!
But of course that doesn’t mean we won’t get answers. I got mine. But the point is we’d all get different answers to the issue, because we all go through different situations in our love lives. Although some marriage counselors, or marital experts argue that 1-2 years is good enough time for pre-marital courtship. I honestly feel, it totally depends on the people involved in the relationship. The basic characteristics of the couple, how often or less they meet, in what situations do they ‘date’, what situations do they go through ‘together’ and basically how intentional they are about discovering their degree of perfect fit, is what could determine whether they must take the marital plunge sooner or later or if at all.
According to some of the people I discussed this with, a lengthy courtship is what would work. But then I’ve seen a couple date 10 years and in the end not walk the aisle at all. How do they cope up with this? I mean 10 years of their life were devoted to impressing the other person whom you didn’t even walk in the sunset with? Life has its own way of teaching us a thing or two. But how long it takes for us to learn depends upon “us”.
Also read: Falling In And Out Of Love Too Fast!
On the other hand, some were of the opinion that courtship shouldn’t be longer than a year or two. Some of you might be surprised at this statement. But what if I tell you, I spoke to happily married couples and both agreed that it was a good idea to tie the knot sooner. It kept the surprise element strong and they’re really happy with the way things worked out for them.
In conclusion, there’s no specific or ideal period of time for pre-marital courtship. You need to figure out what works for you. But to be honest, whether you take one year or 5 years, a leap of faith is what you will need to make for committing to your loved one.