I’m sure you have heard about John Gray’s book ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’. And if you’ve been in a couple of relationships, there’s a chance that you secretly agree with the best-selling author. As women, we can be romantic, passionate, devoted, eloquent, and sometimes even confusing. Let’s face it, we’re wired that way! This is why we often say one thing and mean another, but that’s not the most difficult part of our behavior. Of course, guys can also be confusing, but we can’t complain unless our plate is clean, can we? So, here are some things women need to stop doing in relationships!
Speaking in mono-syllables: Be honest with yourself ladies, how many times have you wanted to scream at your boyfriend for so-and-so reason, but when you open your mouth a ‘Fine’ or ‘K’ is all that comes out? I’m guessing very often. But this is really unhealthy, girls. We need to stop doing that. Saying ‘fine’ when you’re full of conflicting emotions thundering inside your head is ‘not fine’. Speaking your mind will not do you or your significant other any harm. If at all, it will bring you closer.
Feeling insecure and jealous:
If you have a really very strong reason to be jealous or insecure about your relationship, I’m all for supporting you. But if you taunt him about speaking politely to the receptionist during your last date-night, that’s just unfair to the poor guy. If you feel the need to say something, let it be “I trust you, don’t ever let me down”.
Also reality: Rules for a trustworthy relationship
Acting passive aggressive:
I’m guilty of this one, so let me be honest and tell you that I almost lost out on a beautiful relationship because of it. You must always avoid being passive-aggressive at all costs! Why? Because code-words don’t work with men. Not all men understand that “I’m fine” or “I’m not mad” means “Watch out, I’m trying to keep my cool but if you don’t stop talking right now, I can turn the whole place upside-down with rage!” Pretending not to be angry may give them the impression that we’re easy-going or that we don’t want to confront the situation. You need to realize that men are not smart enough to read signals, and indicates that we’re only acting like we’re okay when actually we want them to ask us what’s wrong and make it right. Such behavior will only confuse your man further.
Playing mind games:
Again, men are not as smart as we expect or believe them to be. They can be geniuses at math and logic quizzes but when it comes to mind games and guesswork, they tend to suck a great deal. So the next time your man asks you if he can go bowling with the boys, try saying “What about our date?” rather than “Oh, okay; it’s totally up to you.” He won’t know that he’s supposed to cancel his plans or include you in them if you said the latter.
Having high expectations: Call me cheesy but true love and affection needs to be unconditional and with minimal expectations. Having too many or very high expectations in your relationship is not healthy (this applies to you too, boys). Life is not a fairytale and your Mr. Charming is not exactly a Prince who has the world at his feet to make all your dreams come true with a wave of his velvet cape. Besides, if you don’t expect anything (not even compliments or flowers) then you’d most probably get a surprise every now and then making it so much better!
All in all, I know that nobody is perfect and it is really very easy to slip into these habits, but it won’t hurt if we started saying and doing what we really want to. If not for anything else, for the sake of preserving our own sanity.