In life, everything happens for a reason. Whether it is the start of a relationship (in which case it happens due to love and affection) or the end of it (which is due to the lack of affection). Divorce is one of those heartbreaking events that just doesn’t happen by accident. It is the last ditch in a troubled marriage, wherein the relationship between the husband and wife seems to have gone through irreparable damage. But if you thought that sexual infidelity was the number 1 cause of divorce, you’ve got it wrong! Here are the top 10 causes why marriages end in divorce.
Also read: Things to consider before filing for divorce
1. Lack of communication: The most common and most disturbing cause of divorce is lack of communication between the partners. It doesn’t take long for distance to creep in a relationship if there is no communication and sharing of feelings. Keeping your feelings to yourself won’t help either of you or your marriage.
2. Marrying for the wrong reasons: One must only marry when we are sure of it and have measured all the options well. Getting in a marital bond for reasons like insecurity, money, fame, etc will not allow the bond between the spouses to strengthen and may result in getting annulled. If you act impulsive while getting into it, chances are you may act on impulse again, this time to end your marriage.
3. Unmet expectations: When expectations aren’t met, it is not inhumane to feel angry or hurt. But that initial feeling of despair leads to complaining, taunting, arguing and expecting more out of someone who in the first place failed to meet your initial expectation. This vicious cycle may (if at all it stops any soon) end in a bitter divorce. It’s best to never depend upon anyone else to make you happy.
4. Lack of intimacy: At some point in every marriage, there is a subtle change in the intimacy department. Maybe one of you has an off day or just doesn’t feel like doing it, but that’s alright. The trouble is when there is a misunderstanding or a prolonged “off day”. Men generally need sexual receptivity to feel romantic and women need romance to feel sexually receptive. If one or both partners fail to understand this, it’s downfall.
5. Finances or lack thereof: While for most people the lack of finances can be extremely taxing on a personal as well as co-dependent level, it is the lack of compatibility in the handling of finances that causes more divorces. Sure, opposites attract; but when two people are opposites in the financial arena (for instance, one is a saver while the other is a spendthrift), divorce follows.
6. Spiritual or cultural differences: Religious or cultural belief is something we all are attached closely with. Even if you call yourself an atheist, you may still have a set of morals and beliefs that you live by and that mean a lot to you. These things can also potentially cause conflict in your relationship. This in no way means you shouldn’t be religious (that is a matter of personal choice), but it always helps if you have a fair idea of your partner’s culture and belief system before you say “I do.”
7. Abuse: Any type of abuse (whether physical or emotional) can trigger a damaging situation in a marriage. If your partner has ever been abusive or controlling of you, it’s best to talk it out rationally. Continued abuse is criminal and the outcome may be even worse.
8. Trust and loyalty: Yes, it is true that infidelity is not uncommon. If there is lack of trust between the partners on any level, especially if there is a question mark on their loyalty, chances are that the relationship may not survive.
9. Inequality: If one or both the partners feel that their marriage was unequal in terms of responsibilities, decision-making or absolutely any other aspect of a healthy relationship, this inequality could lead to separation.
10. Inability to resolve conflicts: Lastly, it is vital for every couple to learn to resolve conflicts in a healthy and mature way. And that shouldn’t be difficult if you really wish to make amends. Every couple fights, but the happiest is the one who has ground rules to make their partner feel respected and important. If both of you are hot-headed, try to appoint an unbiased ‘referee’ to help direct the argument in a healthy way.