Why You Should Not Be A Mama's Boy After Marriage
Let's face it; one in every 5 guys turns out to be a mama's boy. Some, in fact, discover this side of them after they are committed (or married). And the saddest part is they don't seem to realize how unfair this is for their partner. So, since the women can't really do or say much to change their "mama'sboy" partners, usually the relationship turns to wreckage. Here's a big wake-up call for all the guys out there – if you are married or in a long-term commitment, being a mama's boy is hurting your relationship with your partner in more ways than you realize!
Did I hear you say "But I'm not a mama's boy!" Well, here's the downer: Most mama's boys don't realize they are one.
If you really love your woman and don't want to lose out on them, figure out if you need to think things over. Here's help:
First off, you need to figure out if you really are a mama's boy. Most guys don't realize that they are in fact mama's boys, (and it's not your fault if you are). Dad was always busy, so mom had to bring you up and (wait for it) she failed. She may have given you all the right values, taught you to be fair, honest, and respectful towards women and elderly… but, she failed. She failed because she loved you far too much to make you independent, and that in turn made you consciously or sub-consciously dependent upon her.
Still confused? Here are a few signs that could prove you are a mama's boy:
Also read: 7 secrets that lead to long-lasting marriage
You are self-centered: Mama's boys fit into this category perfectly simply because their mothers were always there for them. They were given what they wanted, and generally the women in the house did the things for them that they should have started doing for themselves long ago. This makes them expect the same from their wives as well. This is outright unfair! Women want partners who are sensitive to the amount of duties they already have and who would not dump extra responsibilities on them unless extremely urgent.
Fix it: A real man is independent, fair and he has a mind of his own. Your wife would love to help you out but you shouldn't have to rely on her to carry your weight.
You let your mother make the decisions: Even if it's a trifling matter like what colour should the curtains in your room be, your mother gets to decide it. Since you were never involved in decision making while growing up (getting spoon-fed most of the times) you tend to push the major (and minor) decisions over to your mother, thus making your wife feel she is not an important entity in the house.
Fix it: This doesn't have to mean that you need to make all the decisions on your own. A responsible man realizes that the best thing to do is making decisions ‘together'. If the matter is not extremely important, your mother needn't be involved in the discussion at all… just you and your wife can decide.
You do not support your wife: If you fail to see when and why your wife really needs your support, I hate to say this, but you are insensitive and cowardly. If your mother has always been the strong one in your family, chances are she would not let her daughter-in-law take her place once you're married. This is why your wife ‘needs' your support most of the time.
Fix it: There may be times when your wife is wronged by others (possibly by your mom too) but if you're a real man, you must be able to stand up for her in the face of others (yes, even if it's your own mother or father).
So unless you want your wife to walk out on you (with the children), stop and think! If you've ever been in any such situation and acted like a mama's boy, it's time to change yourself. Sit down with your wife (alone) and discuss this issue (or this article) with her. You'll be surprised at how passionately she would want to help you out. Also, be prepared for a little bit of exasperation in her voice, but don't mind it all the same.
If you are the mother of a mama's boy and are reading this, my humble request to you would be to realize that your son needs to be loved not controlled. Do not create unhealthy attachments with him. If he's about to be married, then cut off the invisible umbilical cord that connected you to him all these years. Give him enough space so that he can accommodate his wife too in his life. And don't feel insecure, you'll still be his mom and he (and his wife) will love and respect you more.