10 Things You Should Know Before You Lose Your Virginity
Having sex for the first time can be a time filled with nervousness, excitement and anticipation, as also a time filled with confusion and maybe even a fear to some extent. Hence, you need to get certain facts in place before you dive head first into this unchartered territory. Here are the things you should know before you lose your virginity.
You Define Your Virginity
You decide what constitutes as virginity to you. Don't go on the social convention of the term. If having intercourse is losing virginity to you, then so be it. If having oral sex means losing your virginity to you, then that is fine too.
There Is No Right Time
Honestly, there is no right time to have sex for the first time. You need not wait till marriage to have sex, and no need to do indulge in the same before marriage either; have sex when you want to and when you feel it is the right time for you. Don't let peers push you into it.
Nervousness Will Prevail
While it may or may not be the first time for your partner, it is the first time for you; so being anxious and nervous is inevitable. You will both be naked and exposed and may get awkward at a point, but that's all part of the experience. You will get comfortable with each other and learn more on the go.
Be Vocal About What You Want
The worst thing you could do while having sex for the first time is not speak your mind. Even if your partner is more experienced than you, if there is something that you do not like, let them know. While if there is something you are open to experimenting with, let them know that too. In short, don't be mute; have a say.
It's Not Porn
If you are someone who watches a lot of porn, then let me tell you upfront – your first time will be nothing like what you see on screen, even your 50th time might not be like that. Porn is made up and scripted, it's just acting. What you will be doing is real, so don't compare the two.
It May Hurt, But Not A Lot
The very first time that you have sex, it may hurt a bit in the beginning, but that's the only amount of hurt you are supposed to feel. If it continues to pain even as you go with the act, and hurts quite a lot, then something is definitely wrong and you must stop immediately.
You May Or May Not Bleed
If you are a girl, then chances are that you will bleed the first time you have sex. However, that is not guaranteed. The only reason you bleed is that your hymen has ruptured; however, if you are into sports or do splits, chances are that your hymen may have ruptured without you even realizing it. Blood is not an assurance of virginity.
Safe Sex Always
It doesn't matter what people say, and it doesn't matter how much self-control you think you have; always… always practise safe sex. No two ways about it. This will not only prevent unwanted pregnancies (yes, even having sex once can get you pregnant) but will also protect you from getting any STDs.
Also read: Spicing Up Your Sex Life Using BDSM
Go With The Flow
You may have these big fantasies of how your first time is going to be, and may have literally chalked down everything to the T, but in reality, sex doesn't work like that. You cannot plan each moment. If you do, then chances are you may face disappointment. The best bet is not to over-analyze or scrutinize and just do what feels right.
Sex Does Not Mean Love
Ideally, you should have sex with someone who you have an emotional connect with, but that is not always the case, hence the many one night stands. It is important to understand that having sex with someone will not make them love you if they don't, neither does it mean that the two of you will be together forever. Don't mistake sex for love.
To end with, all I want to say is, before losing your virginity just keep the above points in your mind. They will help you make your first time better and one that you would want to remember.