Are You A People Pleaser? It's Now Time To Please Yourself
Helping people and trying to make them happy is one thing, but doing it so much so that it ruins your chances at happiness is not all right. If you are someone who is willing to go to all lengths just so you can be in the good books of everyone around you, then you might be what they call a people pleaser. A people pleaser, as the name suggests, will do all he can do to please people, and this extreme habit often leads to him being used and not achieving his full potential. Here are some reasons why a people pleaser will find it extremely difficult to achieve the success they desire.
The thing with people pleasers is that they will do things to please others, even if those things make them uncomfortable. For example, when a friend with a reputation of not returning money asks a people pleaser for a loan, he will give it, knowing very well that he might never get his money back. To top it, he might not even ask for the money as time passes by, in fear of offending the friend.
People pleasers don't have limits or boundaries, and don't use their better judgment while making decisions.
Values Go For Toss
It is important for each human to have his or her own set of personal values that they stick to, no matter what. These values define the individual and everything that they stand for. However, in order to make others happy, a people pleaser will forgo these values if he has to. There are times when he will do things he knows go against his moral fiber just so the person asking for the favour isn't disappointed.
Low Confidence And Esteem
People pleasers are constantly trying to make people happy. They feel great and confident about themselves and their abilities when they succeed in pleasing others. However, when they are unsuccessful in pleasing others they feel like they have failed. Their self-confidence and self-esteem are interlinked with what others think of them.
Also read: A Few Tips On How To Deal With Bossy People
Puts Their Life On Halt
In order to please people, such individuals often put their own life on halt. For example, it may be your partner's birthday and you might have promised her to a romantic dinner, and she is certainly looking forward to it. But just as you are about to leave office, your boss asks you if you can stay back longer and help him complete his presentation which is due tomorrow. In such a situation a people pleaser will no doubt be conflicted; irrespective of which way he goes, he believes he will be displeasing one person.
Drained Of All Energy
Each day has only 24 hours; whether you like it or not, that's the fact. Now, if you spend almost all of these hours trying to be everything to everybody in order to please them, you will have no time or energy to do anything for yourself. A people pleaser spends so many hours doing things for others, that he has no time to relax and rejuvenate, something which is essential for everyone. Just draining energy with no recharge will most likely result in a complete breakdown in the people pleaser's future.
This is the impending fate of a people pleaser who doesn't know when to say no! If you are one, then, well, I suggest you to change the way you are living your life… for your own sake.