Do You Think You Are In A Loveless Marriage?
There are different things that make a marriage work. It can be picking on each other's annoying habits, or appreciating each other's judgment; fighting about something in the morning and making up in the evening; deep conversations leading to some passionate love making or just lying on the couch on a Sunday doing nothing, together – all of this and a lot more make a marriage filled with love. But, how do you realize if you are in a loveless marriage? That's what I will be discussing today.
You Have Become Acquaintances
This is a red flag that can easily go unnoticed. You speak to your spouse like you would talk to an acquaintance. Neither deep conversations about your feelings, worries and decisions about the future, nor fights about things that bother you. Often, couples drift apart without even realizing that love has left them. You might be staying together for the sake of society or your kids, or perhaps you just haven't realized yet that the two of you have grown out of love.
You Dread Spending Time Together
Whenever a couple is in love – whether married or not – they usually look forward to spending more time with each other. The more moments you share together the closer you get. However, if you get cold feet just by thinking about having to spend the weekend together, you should smell trouble. If you'd rather prefer spending time with your friends than your spouse, there is definitely a problem there.
There Is No Spark Left
Whenever the two of you hit the bed, either you are too tired or just want to say good night and doze off. There is no action happening between the sheets anymore. This is definitely a big, red light cautioning you about your loveless marriage. I agree that after a certain point in a marriage, the honeymoon period passes by and you might not have sex all the time. But, having no sexual desires for each other is definitely something to worry about.
Nothing Reminds You Of Your Love
Whenever you listen to a love song or look at a couple holding hands, nothing happens to you. You are not reminded of the love you used to feel for your spouse anymore. It is extremely important that you get a warm and happy feeling in your heart when you think of your spouse. If that does not happen, then the message is pretty clear.
What To Do When You Realize You Are In A Loveless Marriage?
Now that you have realized that you are stuck in a loveless marriage, what do you do next? Well, you can either decide to work on the marriage or walk out of it. Here is how you can go about it.
Spice Things Up
At times, you just reach a stagnant point in your relationship and a little push is all you need to get things going. You can try to take a trip to an exotic location away from the hectic lifestyle and everyday chaos. If a trip seems difficult, at least plan a dinner date at some romantic venue.
We Need To Talk
As scary as it sounds, one of you needs to take the plunge and utter these four dreadful words. Bottling up your feelings and postponing confrontation is never the solution to anything. It can either lead to depression or a nervous breakdown. Discuss this issue with your partner, see what they are feeling and mutually come to a solution.
Enough Is Enough
If the two of you have tried everything you can to make things better but have failed, then you need to take a decision that will benefit both of you. Staying in a loveless marriage is equivalent to living alone. If you are lonely even while you are living together then it's time to go your way. You can do it on amicable terms and still be friends. Trust me, this is the right thing to do when you realize that your marriage has reached a dead end.
Being in a loveless marriage is hard and dealing with it is even harder. So, make sure you think things clearly before you take your call. And always remember one thing, just because you landed in a situation like this, doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Life moves on and so should you.