Is Change Good Or Really The Enemy Of A Relationship
We cannot stop change. Change in relationships can be good and "yes" not so good. While we can't stop these changes, we can learn to accept variety along with constancy that relationships truly need both. Challenges that a relationships faces are the ability to tolerate what is not understood or desired or both. Negotiating these difficulties can bring relating to a new understanding only to realize the next change is right around the corner.
Everything, including any relationship, changes with the passage of time. You are not the same person you were some years ago, and neither is your partner in your relationship. Therefore, it is important to acknowledge and embrace the changes in your life and the changes in your relationships. Problems tend to arise when individuals fail to recognize the inevitability of the change. When relationship problems arise it is usually a very good idea to seek counseling from a professional who specializes in relationship issues.
But when we fail to embrace the change, we develop different feelings that end up damaging the relationship. We start to blame and create doubts in our own minds. In a struggle to deal with these painful feelings, we often reflexively blame the other person for our hurts. When we blame and criticize, we can feel more powerful and in control than when we're hurt or vulnerable. Anger can help to nurse our wounds. A strategy to deal with hurts is to numb out, move away from our partner, or get busy with work or other friends and activities.
Couples can easily get stuck because they criticize each other, make the other feel wrong, and overall convey a lack of acceptance of one another when dealing with these unsolvable issues. But the thing is: This only exasperates the problem. Even if they were to change partners, they would simply swap a different set of problems.
ACCEPTANCE is the key. Relationships change with time. Everything changes as time progresses. Since a primary relationship, such as a marriage, is considered a separate entity, it too changes with time and accumulated experiences. Your challenge is to be aware of the changes and live in the now, instead of attempting to resurrect a past that can no longer be experienced.
Whenever you feel the relationship isn't working, or they've changed too much or expected you to change, YES it is difficult but to embrace it and face it is simply the best to make the relationship work. You need to remember what made you fall in love with your partner and how that makes you happy if that feeling is worth all the efforts and accepting the change.